I was returning home from the city to my town at 6.00 am and I sat down at the end of the bus. A group of boys sat next to me and one of them asked me (because I was about to sleep) if i would like him to wake me up at any stop. I said no and we started chatting. He also has a twin, they live at the same town as me, one of them is learning a martial art I used to practice and they are also studying a degree (one is more social like my sister and the other is more about maths like me) while working.

I was amused by all these little stupid coincidences, and I regret not having asked their names or something. Maybe if there is a next time…

I study every day from 9.30 to 20.00, I work at weekends,  I go to a driving school, I take English classes, I party on Friday or Saturday’s night, I go to my bestfriend’s house to have lunch on Fridays after meeting with Him (so we can comment while we catch up on every little thing that happens to us. Because she is no less busy that I’m, she studies dessign which at first you can think is doing nothing but is just the opposite and she also is practicing for the driving exam, she studies English and she has a girlfriend so it’s complicated to meet), and well dwell with every little thing that happens to me because I’m me and every thing is supposed to happen to me for convenience.

It could seem I’m complaining but I’m proud of myself and I can show off being able to solve either in the best way, the worst way or simply my way; every little issue that comes on my way.

I don’t stop skipping stones and I deal with all my efforts to not repite my mistakes.

I got robbed yesterday. I’m not angry because of the money, in fact I had not enough money in my pocket to pay a coffee and a cookie at Starbucks so I had to pay with my credit card (yes the one I had to cancel just after the facts). It’s because of all my class notes that were in there. This Xmas I’ve been to Venice and I brought this same class notes to the plane so I could study and do something fruitful on the plane. I forgot my class notes there and never heard of them again. Well this same notes are the ones I’ve lost now but this time they were accompanied with my drawing set, my calculus notes, my mp3… and I’ve to renew my passport again and to change the lock! I arrived home at late at night more or less at twelve o’clock after having made the complaint at the police station and then I had to endure the anger of my mother.

So yesterday definitely was not my best day. I wish I could go back in time… but who doesn’t wish so?

So I told myself: what the hell! There are 6470818671 people outside there, maybe no one is gonna read what I have to say but that doesn’t mean that it could happen that one does and likes it (probably because he or she has nothing better to do) but if only one person cares, I CARE.

And also because you’ll see I’m like a magnet for incidents and there is not a regular day in my life (well, of course my days are normal to me but in some way I found how to make all days worth it a lot or nothing). I’ve to write a composition so I better start my homework which for sure someone will read…

I’m listening to mattafix while thinking what I may never know, if I lay low, lay low.

“What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”.  It’s probably one of Nietzsche’s most memorable quotes and a good painkiller when needed but now even these words seem nonsense to me. I’m dazed, confused, aimlessly lost. I’m tired of the same story over and over again.

Lots of  thoughts mingle on my mind and I’m not able to think, speak or even write about something not related with it.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who finds itself in trouble when your heart is telling you one thing but… and then get confused because what’s all this pain worth? I want him because I simply can’t? Or there is something else?

Probably I don’t make sense so let’s just stop here.